Random Fate

More small tragedies

This will likely be the last "personal" post I put up on Random Fate, since I'm changing directions for this weblog, but I needed to write one final commentary on the human condition here.

When I was in high school, I was in a class called "Creative Writing" that was restricted to those students who had been classified as "gifted". They gave the same test to the students who were believed to be "gifted" as to those who were suspected of being "retarded" (to use the terminology of those pre-PC days of 27 years ago).

I took the test, which involved both putting pegs into the appropriate holes (I briefly considered trying to squeeze a square peg into a round hole, but since the person giving the test seemed to have no sense of humor, even at 10 years old I was wise enough to decide better of it) along with being given a set of drawings on cards that I was supposed to arrange into a story.

To this day, I do not know if I got those drawings in the "right" order for a coherent story; my memory is very fuzzy regarding the details. I must have, because I was put in the "gifted and talented" classes, such as they were in Mississippi in the 1970s. Even then the state barely funded education, much less any programs that went outside the norm, gifted or behind the norm.

I actually had to ask to be given the tests to determine if I was "gifted". Somehow, I had not been noticed, and I complained to my parents when I was put in a class that I was completely bored in while some of the classmates I was good friends with had been put in the "gifted" class.

After I took the tests, it was surprising how many apologies were offered to my parents. Apparently, I had scored very well on all the standardized tests up until then, but no one had noticed.

My parents told me that I had been determined to have an IQ of 165.

The IQ tests of the time were designed to have a "normal" of 100.

Yet no one had noticed.

I'm still trying to determine if my parents did me a favor or not in telling me the whole truth at the time.

How does a child of 10 handle this kind of information, both about himself, and about the teachers who are supposed to be his guides yet who failed to notice such an obvious deviation that was in the realm of their responsibility to address?

I had a difficult time with it.

Even now, I try to cope with the consequences of both the knowledge of an imperfect measurement, and with the difficulties I have in communicating with people in general.

Occasionally, I meet others with whom I share some smaller or larger part of my history, and I continually wonder "what if?"

What if I had met them at a different time?

What if I had met them in different circumstances?

As with all "what if?" questions, however, there is no real answer.

One might as well ask, "What if the world were a different place?"

It the world were a different place, things would be different, would they not?

No demonstration needed, this is a tautology.

Somehow, we all rebel against the world and still cry, "Why? Why is it this way?"

There is no answer; the universe only offers silence in reply.

This is yet another small tragedy that rings large in our individual lives, but is insignificant in comparison to the blood and death that still exists on a large scale, even in these "enlightened" times.

Plus la change, plus le meme chose.

The more things change, the more they stay the same.

Technorati Tags: personal

Small tragedies

Sometimes, I wish I could write music and lyrics to express what I feel.

And sometimes, one of my favorite artists does it for me:

Father, Son by Peter Gabriel

Damn, I miss my Dad sometimes, even though he's still alive, he's thousands of miles away, and I often wish we could really say to each other what we feel deep inside, where we hide it as if it were shameful.

Damn it, I hate it when a song makes me cry...

We all have these small tragedies in our lives, and it is up to us and no one else, not even God, to turn them into victories.

Tell those whom you love how you feel, and gain that victory while you still can.

Technorati Tags: personal

After the precedent...

...established by Eric, here is my commentary on the start of this week.

Technorati Tags: personal

The curse of memory

Sarah the Penguin has started another weblog, and in her second post she has reminded me of an image from 14 years ago that still haunts me.

It was a photo of a soldier in a helicopter, crying, because he has learned of the death of one of his buddies in the 1991 Gulf War.

Fourteen years, and I cannot forget that image of sadness and loss.

We should not forget those deaths that come across as mere statistics in the evening news, "Another 5 die in Iraq".

Each and every one of these lives cut short have those who mourn for them, those who cry for them.

We can not forget.

Technorati Tags: personal

Implosion in blogworld

I may need to be revising the blogroll soon, because in the space of 24 hours, several bloggers have announced intentions or possibilities of going dark.

This, along with some other recent events in blogworld bring questions to my mind:

Some days, I ask myself, do I take this weblog thing too seriously, or not seriously enough?

Some days, I ask myself, does blogworld as a whole need a collective valium IV?

Some days, I ask myself, is anything in this chaotic anarchic imbroglio worth the energy expended?

Some days, I ask myself, what the fuck is the point?

Most days, I have no answers.

But...

I'm stubborn, and I'm not giving up, not yet, even though the level of idiocy seems to be reaching new depths.

I'll be the one on Doomsday to stand up and say to God, "Excuse me, but if You are merciful, why do You kill kittens?"

I may go to Hell, but at least I asked the question.

Technorati Tags: personal, weblogs

Where I come from

My father and his grandfather, whom I never met:

I saw that old carriage in a collapsed barn on the farm that my father's grandfather built.

The decay of that old farm struck a chord in me as a child that I have never forgotten.

Technorati Tags: personal

Well, there it is...

From the comments to my post "Forests and trees":

Couched in these terms I find very little about which to argue; however, while I concede there is a component in war time actions to strike terror and fear into the hearts of our enemies, it is but one small part of a much larger whole. After all, it is WAR.

I respectfully submit characterizing our war time actions as a whole as "terrorism" is painting with a very wide brush.

Nowhere in my post did I ever, directly or indirectly, characterize the actions of the US or the Allies as a whole as "terrorism".

So, now I am forced to ask, what the fuck is the point? I should stop what is obviously a waste of my time in writing of these matters, because this comment came from someone whom I know is intelligent and is willing to at least concede that they do not have all the answers.

Yet, a conclusion regarding something that was not there was jumped to none the less.

Everyone is so trapped in their own viewpoint that they read things that are not present in any arguments that do not support their preconceived answers to questions.

There is still a self-congratulatory theme running through many blogs about how they will change the world by circumventing the old media and providing a way for true cross-communication, even though bloggers have shown themselves to have the same feet of clay as their nemeses in the hated MainStream Media.

Blogging has not changed my world.

It has merely confirmed to me how the human race deserves exactly what it has: a self-created Hell filled with fear and violence and blood and death arising from no good cause but instead rooted in an absolute refusal to see a world in more than us versus them terms.

A refusal to do the hard work needed to think, instead choosing to follow the easy path of reacting.

We have brains that we use just enough to create better ways to kill more at once, but we don't use to find solutions to conflicts that stretch back centuries.

We have the world we deserve, because we are the ones who create it, every day, with every choice, with every opportunity to think avoided and refused.

Am I a misanthrope? No, for if I were, I would not feel this combination of rage and sadness.

Someone very insightful, intelligent, and of a poetic bent once wrote to me in an email:

subject: saw the worst thing yesterday...

there was a struck deer in the roadway... he was rocking back and forth and trying to get up.

unfortunately, his back was broken.

futility.

Well, there it is...

Technorati Tags: personal, weblogs

...on using Newtonian Physics in an Einsteinian universe

Back when I was in high school and college, there was a BBC series that was rebroadcast on PBS called "Connections", and as has become the custom with most shows on public broadcasting in the US now, it had an accompanying book, Connections, nominally, and in this case likely, written by the presenter of the series, James Burke.

This series (and book) showed how seemingly disparate discoveries in science and technology were connected together, hence the title.

For example, did you know that restrictions on the ivory trade created a connection between billiard balls and the development of the atomic bomb?

The series and the book were filled with odd but relevant threads that run through the history of science and technology.

There were two subsequent series named (inevitably, sometimes with the numbers as superscripts to imply "squared" and "cubed"...) "Connections 2" and "Connections 3", along with yet another series that focused on connections between events that were a bit more momentous, called The Day the Universe Changed.

It was the first series and book (both sadly very hard to find now) that had the most profound effect upon the development of my thought.

Other things I have learned have also had significant effects on the patterns of my thinking.

For example, the thought-experiments, the gedankenexperiments of Einstein or Schrodinger that ultimately revealed the limitations of Newtonian Physics when it came to the realm of extremes, where in acceleration or size, and resulted in the formulation of the theories of Relativity (both Special and General Relativity) and Quantum Mechanics (with all of its permutations).

In other words, Newtonian Physics was sufficient to explain the vast majority of everyday phenomena, but the universe changed (or our perception of the universe changed) once the failure of Newtonian Physics was revealed in the extremes.

Our perceptions went from a clockwork system of Newtonian Physics to the relativities of an Einsteinian universe and the probabilities and uncertainties of Quantum Physics.

That change in perception created an upheaval that had not been seen before in the argumentative but ultimately sedate realm of science, and that kind of shock has not happened since.

Einstein provided many different insights into Physics, not just the Theory of Relativity. He also provided insights that helped lead to the development of Quantum Theory. The class that had the largest effect on my mode of thinking when I was in graduate school was in Statistical Mechanics, which provides a Quantum Mechanics foundation to Classical Thermodynamics, which is a field that causes most engineers to groan and proclaim, "I hated that class!!!"

Learning the quantum statistics that underlie the classical conceptions forced me to look for the hidden foundations behind the conventionally accepted "realities", and my world has never been the same.

A "quantum leap" in physics is a very small change in energy states, but in common parlance it has become slang for a huge change in fundamental beliefs and principles, in no small part because of the foundational shift in thinking required to change from Newtonian to Quantum realities that Physicists were forced to undergo at the beginning of the Twentieth Century.

We are in sore need of a "quantum leap" now.

Simple, linear thinking was fine for a bipolar Cold War world, but in our brave New World Order which is far more disorderly than those who boldly proclaimed an end to history imagined, linearity and bipolarity are both luxuries we can ill afford.

Our old model to understand the world and its threats is completely inadequate. The world has changed, yet we are like the Physicists at the turn of the Twentieth Century, still using Newtonian Physics to try to understand and make predictions in the complexities of an Einsteinian universe.

Classical Physics worked for many years, for centuries, and in many situations still provides results that are useful on a practical scale. When the situation changes because of scale of either relative velocity or size, or both, the Newtonian models break down and yield results that are completely wrong.

Simple, linear thinking worked for many years, for centuries, and in many situations still provides results that are useful on a practical scale. When the situation changes because of the scale of either relative populations or cultural collisions, or both, the linear models break down and yield results that are completely wrong.

Linear thinking in a complex, multifaceted, nonlinear world is simple-minded at best, and can lead to catastrophe.

Yet, most thinking on both the left and right in America is still linear, us-versus-them, whether "them" consists of the political opposition or "the terrorists", whatever that nebulous term really means.

For in the end, what does "terrorism" mean? In these days when we are about to commemorate the 60th anniversary of the first use of an atomic weapon in warfare, and where we recently commemorated the 60th anniversary of the liberation of the death camps created in Europe by the fascist regimes led by Nazi Germany the question has not been fully answered, and not the least because of the tactics used by the victors of six decades past.

Germany set up a deliberate mass-murder holocaust directed against a group because of their religion, and Japan practiced genocidal warfare on a scale still not fully recognized in the West. Both Germany and Japan were defeated by the United States and allies using tactics that today would be called "terrorist" by the bombing of cities in nominal aims of disrupting production of vital war materiel in campaigns that by even the standards of the day were indiscriminate. The fires of Dresden and Tokyo stand in accusation of the terrorist aspect of the assaults.

These tactics are defended as what was necessary to defeat evil.

In these days of the Global War on Terror, who has the privilege of defining what is "evil" so that terrorist tactics can be used to defeat it?

If "evil" is that which seeks to destroy your culture and way of life, then can we truly call the Islamofascists "evil" when in their eyes the West, led by the United States, is destroying what they believe to be the basis of Islamic culture and way of life, and they use terrorist tactics to defeat what they perceive as "evil"?

"Evil" and "good", the two sides of the edgeless coin of bipolar thinking.

One side or the other, impossible for the coin to land on a nonexistent edge that might bridge between the two sides.

Bipolar.

Simple.

Clean.

Easy.

The simple, bipolar-linear thinking of those who cry, "All Islam is evil" and "Kill the terrorists" and "If you're not 100% in agreement with me, you're against me!" leads to the kind of contradiction where a simple change of viewpoint makes what was once "good" become "evil", where the only difference between the Islamofascists and "us" is what and whom we choose to protect, and not how we define "evil" if "evil" is "that which is trying to destroy our culture and way of life".

There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio,
Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.
   -William Shakespeare, "Hamlet", Act 1 scene 5

At small scales or high relative velocities, Newtonian Physics breaks down, and if actions are taken based upon the predictions of Newtonian Physics, disaster can follow. Even in the (comparatively) simple Physics involved with space shuttle and satellite operations, NASA takes Einsteinian factors into account.

Should we do any less when determining strategy for the survival and success of our nation?

What are the fundamentals?

What are the forces that underly the effects we see?

How can we blunt those forces and redirect them to paths that do not result in more enemies for us?

Do not merely label the opposition "evil".

To fight and conquer in all your battles is not supreme excellence; supreme excellence consists in breaking the enemy's resistance without fighting.
   -Sun-Tzu

While "torture them until they spill all" may be satisfying on a visceral level, does it really move us towards our real goals?

The best vengeance is living well.

We cannot live well if we create as many enemies as we kill or imprison.

What are the fundamentals?

What are the forces that underly the effects we see?

How can we blunt those forces and redirect them to paths that do not result in more enemies for us?

Even with a full toolbox to support him, for a simple-minded man holding a hammer every problem is a nail, and the results are disastrous, predictably so for those who see the toolbox, but sadly not for the simple-minded man who only sees the hammer in his hand.

We must stop using Newtonian Physics in our Einsteinian universe.

Yes, the math is harder now, but are our goals not worth the effort of thought necessary?

---

UPDATE: I have posted a follow-up to clarify some points entitled "Forest and trees".

Technorati Tags: patterns in the white noise, personal, some thoughts

Inconsequential imbroglios

UPDATE: For all you knee-jerkers, there is a background to this post for which you have no knowledge, a history that has little to do with me and much to do with the blogger that I discuss and his pointless and needless insults to several women. Those who do know have already expressed their support for what I wrote here, and any opinions you feel the need to express here about how "thin skinned" I am are merely revealing the depth of your ignorance along with your poor character in judging me without knowing the facts of the matter.

---

One of my previous posts, when commented upon by another in an attempt to add levity to an overly-political blogworld, prompted an asinine response by one of the "bigger" bloggers.

This person is someone who is does not have the courage to either:

- comment to the post itself

- link to the post in question to dispute my statement and conclusions (with a trackback so I am aware of his commentary)

- email me to tell me of his dispute if he does not want to "give the traffic" to my weblog

In other words, this person does not have the courage to actually dispute me directly.

To state it plainly, he is a coward, as is evidenced by his relentless attacks on women (yes, I am Southern raised, and I view anyone who attacks women in the way this person does as both unmanly and cowardly).

I am not linking to the weblog of the person in question for two reasons:

(1) he has all the traffic he needs, those who need to know, already know, and

(2) he is nothing more than an oxygen-thief from the rest of the living world, someone who needs no more attention than he already has.

So...

Why am I now bothering to waste glucose and oxygen molecules to even peripherally comment upon this inconsequential imbroglio stirred up by this person who is a waste of skin?

I am writing because I've received an unprecedented number of emails in support of what I wrote, or at the least in opposition to the distortion of what I wrote, and in opposition to the ignorance of the screeds the particular "big" blogger likes to write, especially if they have a misogynist element added, and in responding to these messages I have not been able to write the posts I had planned to put up this evening.

Pissing matches are pointless, and that is what more than 90% of what any cross-commentary in blogworld boils down to.

If you agree with me, de-link and ignore this person and any others who spew piss and vinegar instead of actually discussing issues and being willing to admit they do NOT have all the answers.

I have found only a very few on the left, right, or between the two extremes of the political spectrum who are willing to discuss instead of simply name-call from the first post in disagreement with someone, and this is why I have little hope in blogging changing the political landscape, just as I have little hope in the majority of humanity.

If I am proven wrong, I will be happier than anyone else, including those who prove me wrong as they wreak that change in the world.

In the short term, I merely hope this dies down so I can return to writing about things that aren't the waste of time that this particular feeble-minded person prompts in far too many who are worth and worthy of so much more.

Technorati Tags: personal, weblogs

Dead again

The iPod that is, dead again.

Argh!

I've identified the source of the issue, I think.

Regardless, I now have another dead iPod.

I'm the six-sigma anomaly for the iPod, it wouldn't sell so well if there were more folks who had this many problems.

Oh, well...

Technorati Tags: personal, technology

Plans and obsessions

I had hoped to write a post on complexity this evening, but I got occupied with other things, not the least of which was trying to get my resurrected iPod functional again.

In previous versions of iTunes, I could duplicate the files between my PCs and my Mac, and there was no issue. Now, with the latest version, the music library of the PC is not recognized by the Mac. In other words, simply mirroring the directories and files doesn't keep the iTunes library identical on the two platforms any more.

So, I've been spending a lot of time this evening trying to puzzle out how to make it work.

I don't have enough time to write about complexity tonight, not if I want to sleep!

Technorati Tags: personal

I missed a meme...

...where I was tagged by Boudicca with "The Bedside Table Meme". I don't know if she will be disappointed or not, because I don't find what I have on my nightstand nearly as interesting as what she has.

Here's the list:

1 glass of Port wine I'm drinking before I go to bed

1 halogen desk lamp I'm using as a reading lamp (I read a lot in bed)

1 indoor-outdoor wireless thermometer with hydrometer and clock that I use as my alarm clock (and it tells me how damned uncomfortable I'm going to be when I go outside...)

1 pair of sunglasses

my watch

my wallet

car key

the token that generates the 6 digit code I have to use to get a VPN connection with my work

coins adding up to approximately 2 euros and 60-some odd centiemes (aka "cents"), much of which is in these damned two-centieme coins that I can't get rid of. They are worse than pennies, it's like having a two-cent piece in US currency. It's completely idiotic to have a two-centieme piece.

Ummm, excuse me...

OK, I feel better now. Back to the list.

my apartment keys

6 books:

Orcs - The Omnibus Edition, by Stan Nicholls (apparently only available in the UK, the first book is Bodyguard of Lightning)

Breakfast at Tiffany's/Petit déjeuner chez Tiffany by Truman Capote (a bilingual edition with the left page in French, the right the same passage in English, sold here to help folks learn English, needless to say, I'm using it to learn French)

The Catholic Church : A Short History (Modern Library Chronicles), by Hans Kung

Slapped Together: The Dilbert Business Anthology, by Scott Adams

Beyond Fear - Thinking sensibly about security in an uncertain world, by Bruce Schneier

Christianity and Paganism in the Fourth to Eighth Centuries, by Ramsay MacMullen

I did say I read a lot...

Technorati Tags: memes, personal, weblogs

An odd feeling

While at work researching patents possibly related to a new idea I have that just might be patentable, I ran across a patent of mine that I had forgotten.

I was tracking down the patents referred to a in recently issued patent that was tangentially related to my new idea; unfortunately I have to be that thorough about these things. So, I looked at the full text and diagrams of the referred patents, making sure that my new idea wasn't already covered. There was one patent that stood out in a way that I couldn't quite place, so I payed particlar attention to it.

I didn't recognize it from the title or the abstract, but when the first diagram appeared on the web browser I went back to look at the inventors.

There was my name as first inventor, no less.

Then I couldn't resist the vanity search, and I discovered the company I worked for 13 years ago had been busy little bees after I had left and had obtained four patents in Japan that I had no idea existed (completely legitimate according to my contract).

I also had several patents issued by the European Union and recognized by the WTO from my current employer that I was also unaware of until today.

This all prompted some rather odd and uneasy feelings, knowing there are things out there with my name attached as "inventor" that I did not know existed.

Not completely coincidentally, there is a lot of uneasiness about the current system of patenting inventions in the United States.

Technorati Tags: personal, science, technology

One more post on "Scotty"...

From The Joy of Tech, a tribute I had to be sure to preserve:

Technorati Tags: general, personal

Yet another vanishing symbol...

...this one courtesy of Ann Althouse.

Barber poles...

Barber shops, as in men-only, not "hair stylists".

Memories of drug stores with real snack bars...

...and unfortunately, other, more unpleasant legacies of my childhood in the South, such as the "Whites Only" signs...

...legacies and heritage, some pleasant, some repulsive, some fondly remembered, some forgotten in a shame that is not recognized nor acknowledged.

All vanishing.

Time marches on, as it always has, and nostalgia triumphs over the shame, and the dark legacies forgotten in the comfortable, sentimental, and yet somehow lonely tinting of our past.

The South, where the air can be as thick as molasses even today, and the dust can hang as a shroud over events both commonplace and tragic.

A region where the word "gothic" has true meaning in the New World (see definition 5 of the adjective or definition 4 of the noun), despite the weight of age that the word carries.

Perhaps some things will never change.

Technorati Tags: personal

Not much in the way of posts this evening for me...

...because I'm actually reading a book (gasp!!!).

A finite number of hours in a day, a finite number of heartbeats in our lives.

Priorities, we all have them, even if we don't bother to recognize them.

What are the priorities you show your loved ones?

Are they the priorities you truly have towards them?

If not, why?

Later is irrelevant.

NOW is important.

Technorati Tags: personal

Old hopes that wither in the harsh light of the now

Through one of the myriad unexpected, odd paths that the Internet now enhances, late last night I ended up contemplating the move and book 2001: A Space Odyssey, in no small part due to the anniversary of the 1969 Moon landing, but also stirred by other now forgotten promptings.

We were once filled with high aspirations and dreams for the future, not just of technology but also of exploration and a peace that arose from a realization that our simple human differences were nothing in the face of the universe of infinity to contemplate and explore.

Now we are reduced to a desperate hope than our loved ones are not burned in a nuclear fire or biological meltdown perpetrated by enemies of civilization.

The melancholy musings prompted by the thoughts on a lost future of exploration with hopes unfulfilled prompted my post "Inspiration Lost" along with many other dark thoughts in the hours where it is better to be sleeping than thinking.

Today, it is yet another repetition of the refrain "same partisan shit, different day."

Today, it is yet another holding action instead of an advancement of humanity.

Today, it is yet another individual tragedy revealed, an action that although on a small scale, affecting only a few, is a tragedy nonetheless.

There are countless so-called small tragedies that occur each day, yet each is devastating to those affected, taking a little more of that commodity that is far too rare to start, joy.

There are some days that I cannot ignore the sad outcomes, the heartbreaking narratives encompassing far too much of our all too short lives, the grievous losses that are all the more lamentable because they are not inevitable but instead a product of our flawed human nature.

On those days, only the reaction of the Southern boy inside of me is adequate, despite my repeated attempts to permanently silence that part of my personality that arose from my origins and has little merit beyond its recognition of the tragedy of humanity that is so well-expressed in the Southern Gothic tradition.

Some days, all that can be said is "Well, fuck..."

The universe is indifferent to our pleas.

The universe operates on the unpitying laws of thermodynamics, best expressed in layman's terms as:

You cannot win

You cannot break even

You cannot even get out of the game

All of which continue to push us down the path to disaster while we are distracted by shadow-boxing with fanatics, while we are playing every event for political gain at the expense of what is good for the nation , while we are manipulating the data to conform with decisions already made regardless of the reality and ignoring other truly existential threats at our peril.

Never has my teenage-arrogance-originated phrase "mental masturbation" been more apropos...

And never has the danger of this navel-gazing distraction been greater.

We are presented with tragedies on both large-scale and small, we are confronted with evil both widespread and deep, originating not the least in our realpolitik of our recently exited bipolar age where the morals and ethics were discarded in favor of "our side" versus "theirs", with results of our conditional morality completely missed by our government.

We are left stranded after a transformation into a New World Order that is not a time of peace but instead of unipolar instability enhanced and increased by our moral failings today.

And when that confrontation shows itself in all its horrifying strength we retreat into our world of "reality TV" and empathy for the tragedy of the individual while ignoring the resonance inherent in the far larger tragedies of each death-dealing day, and even with that willful ignorance the tragedy of the individual becomes overwhelming.

Some days, all that can be said is that whispered by my despised internal Southern boy, "Well, fuck..."

Some days, those high aspirations for the future seem not only a chimera, but a naive fantasy that should never have been taken seriously.

I mourn for those old hopes that continue to wither in the harsh light of the now, smothered aspirations that are ultimately destroyed by the desperate wishes for a non-lethal today, hopes destroyed by a melancholy darkening of whatever inspiration might still try to thrive.

Well, fuck...

Technorati Tags: commentary, opinion, personal

Inspiration lost

Thirty-six years ago, I stood mesmerized by the blurry, interrupted images on the television.

I was four years old, and I was inspired.

I didn't fully comprehend the magnitude of the achievement, but I was excited none the less.

That inspiration lit my heart for years, and that inspiration broke my heart when the Challenger exploded in the Florida sky.

Thirty-six years ago, I stood mesmerized by the blurry, interrupted images on television.

That remains one of my earliest memories, and one of my most treasured.

What memories do we create now?

What do we do to create our desired future, rather than to avoid some catastrophe?

What do we do to inspire?

Paradise was lost long ago, like childhood and innocence never to be regained.

Inspiration can be created anew, but only if we have the courage to do so.

Technorati Tags: history, personal

James Doohan is dead

For the non-geeks out there (if any non-geeks read this...), James Doohan played "Scotty" in the original Star Trek series. In real life, Doohan was a genuine World War II hero. From CNN.com:

James Montgomery Doohan was born March 3, 1920, in Vancouver, British Columbia, youngest of four children of William Doohan, a pharmacist, veterinarian and dentist, and his wife Sarah. As he wrote in his autobiography, "Beam Me Up, Scotty," his father was a drunk who made life miserable for his wife and children.

At 19, James escaped the turmoil at home by joining the Canadian army, becoming a lieutenant in artillery. He was among the Canadian forces that landed on Juno Beach on D-Day. "The sea was rough," he recalled. "We were more afraid of drowning than the Germans."

The Canadians crossed a minefield laid for tanks; the soldiers weren't heavy enough to detonate the bombs. At 11:30 that night, he was machine-gunned, taking six hits: one that took off his middle right finger (he managed to hide the missing finger on screen), four in his leg and one in the chest. The chest bullet was stopped by his silver cigarette case.

A life to be proud of, even before he was 30.

His portrayal of Chief Engineer Montgomery Scott in Star Trek in no small part inspired me to work in the sciences; I suspect it worked a bit of magic on many others as well.

Despite being typecast after Star Trek, Doohan's attitude stayed positive throughout, providing him with a fine epitaph:

In a 1998 interview, Doohan was asked if he ever got tired of hearing the line "Beam me up, Scotty."

"I'm not tired of it at all," he replied. "Good gracious, it's been said to me for just about 31 years. It's been said to me at 70 miles an hour across four lanes on the freeway. I hear it from just about everybody. It's been fun."

Another lesson to learn from him, to be able to say, "It's been fun."

It is difficult to explain what a huge effect the original Star Trek series has had on my life. I doubt I would have accomplished much of what I have achieved in my career without the dream presented by that show, and much of the good in my life would never have come to pass. Another piece of my childhood has slipped away, as is inevitable for us all.

Tonight, I will raise a glass of my favorite single malt Scotch in tribute to this fine man.

Much sadness...

Technorati Tags: personal

We are experiencing technical difficulties

The Mac died again.

This time, it IS the hard drive, because the "SMART" status came up with the "He's dead, Jim" notice, along with helpful advice to back up my files immediately if the drive is still working "somewhat".

It ain't working at all.

I'm a wee bit frustrated over this.

Tell them

Contrarian I am, as John of Argghhh! likes to point out, I have no desire put up yet another Father's Day post.

I am the product of both of my parents, and I love them both. I call them every week and talk with them to tell them so.

I am who I am because of them, and I am happy with who I am. I thank them both for it, directly when I speak with them, because I believe it is important to say these things.

One of the best things for me to hear is when someone I love, such as my parents, tell me they are proud of me. Fortunately, my mother never hesitates to tell me how proud they both are of me, and always tells me when my father tells her how much he thinks of me. My father rarely says this to me directly because it is not in his nature, nor was that kind of openness a part of his generation, nor the generation before.

So my message is this:

No matter who the others are in your life that you care about, tell them how much you love them and the good things you think of them.

If your parents are still alive, tell them how much you appreciate all they taught you.

If you are a parent, tell them, your children, how proud you are of them.

If you have a significant other, tell them what it is about them that you love.

No matter who it is, tell them you love them, and tell them what makes them special, and what makes you proud to know them.

Tell them.

Don't wait for a special day, don't wait for tomorrow, don't wait for the supposed "right time", you never know when you may no longer be able to tell them.

So tell them, now, and every chance you get.

Tell them.

Otherwise, they may never truly know.

Technorati Tags: personal

For me, for now

Despite the certainty that next week will consist of major idiocies on the work front that will frustrate me to no end, I'm having a good day.

The sun is shining here in Grenoble.

There is a band playing what sounds to be Mexican music in the park next to my apartment.

In one week I go on a two week long vacation.

I've been invited to a party tonight to celebrate the 40th birthday of one of the people in my French class.

And, best of all, I am now the proud owner of a pound of cheddar cheese! (Europeans outside of England apparently do not consider cheddar real cheese, they barely consider it even edible, so it is extremely difficult for me to find any in the stores here in France, I bought my last batch in Prague).

So for me, for now, life is good.

Those of who know me in person probably need to close the mouths that I'm sure are gaping in astonishment, because I know that none of them have ever heard me say that.

No more posts for a while, I'm going outside to enjoy the day. I might hook up a microphone to my Mac and record the band and take a photo to give you a flavor of the day.

Or maybe not.

Either way, time to go outside.

Technorati Tags: personal

A question that I would like to see answered honestly

While I am working on my post "Weaving it all together", I see that I have been misunderstood and misinterpreted to the point where I need to make an interim clarification (I'm sure I'll have to make a clarification again after I state what I believe unequivocally in a manner I will mistakenly think is coherently expressed and understandable by those willing to think instead of react) regarding my views upon Guantanamo.

I am not going to try to define "torture" here.

I will merely ask this question:

What would be your reaction if you heard of this "stress treatment" being applied to members of the US Armed Forces or any American being held prisoner by anyone?

Be careful how you answer my question. What would YOUR reaction be if you heard of an American prisoner being treated in this manner?

What would you write in your weblog?

Be honest, for the only one who will know you if you are lying is yourself, the harshest critic, the most unforgiving judge, the one who will condemn you to restless nights and uneasy days.

Then wonder, based upon your reaction of if the recipient of this benignly-labeled "stress treatment" was an American, soldier or civilian, reason out for yourself whether this treatment of any enemy is the act of a nation of honor.

If you are capable of holding more than one point of view in your mind without going into mental gridlock, then perhaps, just perhaps, you might be able to escape a partisan point of view and understand a larger world.

If that sounds condescending, then you have gotten my point, a gold star for you. I will no longer write pablum suitable for the lowest common denominator.

Use your mind, not your gut...

Technorati Tags: commentary, personal

Setting standards, and staying faithful to them

From the Dartmouth 2005 Spring Commencement address by Tom Brokaw:

I am humbled by the sacrifices that so many of you have made to help you to this promising place in your lives. Your family, your teachers, and some that you may not have considered, especially on a sunlit morning here in Hanover in early June. As we gather here today there are young men and women your age in uniform, in far-off places, in harm's way, dedicating their lives to your security and you must remember them on this occasion as well.

I am envious of what you will carry from here - more than the degree or honors, what you will come to treasure are the friendships and the fellowship, some of which will accompany you all the rest of your days. I envy you as well, of course, the thrill of exploring frontiers of knowledge while rediscovering and re-examining ancient truths.

Most of all, I envy you the road ahead on the 21st century, with its transformation technology, emerging democracies, developing economies, shifting power centers and yes, lethal cultural conflicts that demand attention and resolution.

These are the themes of commencement speeches across a broad spectrum of campuses this spring and I am fully prepared to expand on them momentarily. But first, I am compelled to offer somewhat lofty, but I hope useful, observations. You have been hearing all of your life about this moment - your first big step into what you have been called and told is the real world. What, you may be asking yourself this morning, is this real life all about? Ladies and gentlemen of the Class of 2005 at Dartmouth, it's not college - it's not high school. Real life is junior high.

The world you're about to enter is filled with adolescent pettiness, pubescent rivalries, the insecurities of 13-year-olds and the false bravado of 14-year-olds. Forty years from now, I guarantee it, you'll still be making silly mistakes, you'll have a temper tantrum, you'll have your feelings hurt for some trivial slight, you'll say something dumb and at least once a week you'll wonder, "Will I ever grow up?"

You can change that. In pursuit of passions, always be young. In your relationship with others, always be a grown-up. Set a standard and stay faithful to it.

I really like his comments about what they world they are about to enter is filled with... "adolescent pettiness, pubescent rivalries, the insecurities of 13-year-olds and the false bravado of 14-year-olds."

In my 40 trips around the sun, that's what I've seen far more often than not, only getting worse as time passes and society supposedly "progresses".

There is more to this, however.

I know I frustrate many people much of the time.

I have personal standards that I try my best to stay faithful towards, and I have standards I was taught when I was a child that my nation is supposed to hold, standards that when violated that I cry havoc.

Be careful what you teach the children, because some of them believe in ideals, and grow up into people like me who are willing to point out when the emperor has no clothes.

---

Thanks to Goemagog at Incite for the stimulation of thought by his(?) linking to the speech.

Technorati Tags: personal, recommended reading

Frustration

I had a very bad day in speaking and understanding French today, after a few weeks of marked improvement in my skills with that language.

I am discovering new levels of frustration...

Technorati Tags: personal

It cannot be history until you stop living it... Part II

I hadn't planned to write upon this topic.

However, the Commissar at The Politburo Diktat has stimulated in my mind a few thoughts I feel need to be said.

First however, I present the topic that stimulated this writing, then some history.

The topic:

The resolution on lynching passed today is being used by some very prominent bloggers on the left-wing to attack Republicans who did not co-sponsor the bill, despite the fact that the passage was unanimous.

With his typical, honorable self-consistency, the Commissar condemns this invocation of lynching by the left to score political points just as he did a prior summons of this horrific imagery that was utilized by the right.

A personal aside here, there are times I get so disgusted with what I read in blogworld I am tempted to walk away from this strange yet enthralling occupation completely. Then I find someone as honorable and self-consistent as Stephen, aka the Commissar, and it reaffirms my faith that there are more than a few out there who are not blinded to the point of insanity by their point of view.

To return from the personal aside, using the "non-sponsorship" of a bill seems rather weak as a way of attacking a Senator of a particular party, especially when there were members of BOTH parties on the "non-sponsorship" list.

What about the history I mentioned?

The history is personal.

I have written about this long ago, I'm not even sure it remains in the archives of this weblog due to my changing hosts and configurations a few times, so it bears repeating here.

The name of the town I grew up in was Southaven, incorporated as an actual town the year I graduated high school, before that it was a mere development named by a group of builders seeking to attract buyers.

Why the name Southaven?

It was south of a development in Tennessee named Whitehaven, right at the state line between Tennessee and Mississippi, built in the mid to late 1960s; a development the nature of which was changing during the 1970s when Southaven was created.

I will not insult your intelligence by saying why Whitehaven was named as it was, just outside the city limits of Memphis, Tennessee, in that turbulent era.

Such was the environment in which I was raised.

The year before I graduated high school, signs appeared around town telling of a KKK meeting in the grounds behind the Jaycee building, an intense irony if you know of the mission of the Jaycees.

This isn't to condemn the Jaycees, however. I want to give an indication of the tenor of the times, even in 1980, in a supposedly more enlightened age that supposedly followed in the South upon the heels of the racist 1960s.

When I was a Boy Scout, I heard Scoutmasters routinely use a word once commonly used in the South of the United states to refer to people of dark skin color, the word that I find more offensive than any curse word in the English language. A word I cannot bring myself to type, and the thought of saying aloud brings to mind the taste of shit in my mouth. The only word that brings to mind such strong negative and offensive feelings in me.

What needs to be said?

It is this:

Now, as an adult in the early years of the 21st century, I see political hay being made utilizing the apologies for the absence of condemnation of atrocious behavior towards people, unforgivable acts performed solely because of the color of the skin of those people.

I hear people using the same atrocious word in a compound with "sand" to describe Arabs because a small number of Arabs have managed to perpetrate horrific acts that resulted in the deaths of over 4000 people, deaths of people who were not solely Americans.

I see people using the acts of a few to condemn the whole of a race, of a people, of a religion, as if the acts of individuals were sufficient to convict all. If that criterion were followed, then Western Civilization, the origin of those condemning others now, would have been eliminated half a millennium ago.

I read people with a bare grasp of simple arithmetic trying to use complex, multi-layered data presented in the form of statistics to prove their cases of war, genocide, and annihilation.

I see people with less than a high school understanding of the scientific method trying to use the exaggerated statements of a press only interested in sensational headlines to disprove the assertions of scientists who have spent years studying problems and searching for solutions to those problems.

Everyone can now throw rocks at anyone, because everyone is now a self-appointed expert:

Today I made an appearance downtown
I am an expert witness because I say I am
And I said gentlemen, and I use that world loosely
I will testify for you, I'm a gun for hire, I'm a saint, I'm a liar
Because there are no facts, there is no truth
Just data to be manipulated
I can get you any result you like
What's it worth to you?
Because there is no wrong, there is no right
And I sleep very well at night
No shame, no solution, no remorse, no retribution
Just people selling t-shirts
Just opportunity to participate in the pathetic little circus
and winning, winning, winning
   -Don Henley, The Garden of Allah

And upon reading and hearing the chorus of apologists, those participating in the pathetic little circus, only interested in winning, winning, winning, I hear this song:

Big man, pig man,
ha ha, charade you are
You well heeled big wheel,
ha ha, charade you are
And when your hand is on your heart
You're nearly a good laugh
Almost a joker
With your head down in the pig bin
Saying "keep on digging"
Pig stain on your fat chin
What do you hope to find?
When you're down in the pig mine
You're nearly a laugh
You're nearly a laugh
But you're really a cry.
   -Pink Floyd, Pigs (Three Different Ones)

I have both witnessed and been subject to discrimination.

It is not a matter of politics. It is not a matter of winning.

It is merely a matter of mindless hate.

Just as are many of the issues being used by both sides, supposed fundamentals that are really peripherals, nonetheless suitable for hyping and using to sharpen their spears of their partisans.

I wish I could say "how pathetic" and move on to the adult discussions that need to occur.

Sadly, however, the truly necessary discussions are drowned out by those interested in winning, winning, winning, despite the charades they are.

Left-wing, right-wing, I don't give a fucking damn who "wins".

I just want my country to be successful.

I don't foresee success, or even survival, by following the path we are currently traveling.

Yet I do not foresee success by listening to the left-wing, because they offer no viable alternative.

It cannot be history until you stop living it.

We cannot refuse an opportunity to appear to "make points" by making hay over the atrocities we committed in the past over race.

We cannot even get over race issues even now, 30 years later.

We cannot even get over issues related to "church versus state", after over 215 years of nationhood based upon separation of the secular from the religious.

It cannot be history until you stop living it.

Race-based discrimination is not the only mindlessness I'm referring to here.

Do your own math.

When will we move on to address the real problems facing us, putting aside the "my side should win or else" mentality of internal politics that is blinding us to the external threats?

We are on the road to our own destruction, and that destruction will arise from within, just as it has done for every other seemingly strong civilization. The list is long: the Babylonians, the Egyptians, the Greeks, the Romans... and those are just the ones familiar to us insufficiently educated in truly world history, those of us in the West.

Read your history, and heed the warnings you will find, if you choose to see beyond your own partisan short-term gain.

Technorati Tags: commentary, opinion, personal, politics

Another photo from Prague...

...but not as beautiful as the cathedral photo.

This one is of the memorial to the victims of the communist regime imposed after World War II (click on any of the images to see a larger photo):

Another part of the memorial is this (I did not reduce the image size, and I apologize for the poor quality of the photo, the only way I could take it was from above to avoid a bad shadow, so the proportion is awkward):

The dedication was off to the side (again, I did not reduce the image size, it should be read clearly):

More to come soon, but it is important to note they have memorialized those who not only died, but whose lives were ruined by the regime imposed by the Soviet Union.

Technorati Tags: photos

Whither us in a time where the indefensible is defended at any and all costs?

Although I have enjoyed the Star Wars movies, I am far from thinking that George Lucas is a deep thinker, nor do I feel he is one of the great artists of our age. He accidentally touched upon a nerve at the right time, just as Gene Roddenberry did in creating Star Trek, they both provided avenues of escape from an unpleasant reality to millions who were disenchanted and disconnected with the world around them.

However, I find rather insightful and particularly relevant at the moment one quote from the final movie in the Star Wars series, Return of the Jedi, a movie I find to be the weakest of all six made to date:

You’re going to find that many of the truths we cling to depend greatly on our own point of view.
   -George Lucas, Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi

A comment to a post I wrote on how I feel the prison at Guantanamo Bay is unworthy of us as a nation was as follows:

Yeah, right on target, Jack.

Except, to qualify as POWs under Article 4 of the Geneva Convention, al Qaeda and Taliban detainees would have to have satisfied four conditions:

1. They would have to be part of a military hierarchy.

2. They would have to have worn uniforms or other distinctive signs visible at a distance

3. They would have to have carried arms openly.

4. They would have to have conducted their military operations in accordance with the laws and customs of war.

So, maybe not so on target.

And you know what? That awful, evil BushHitler even decided that the prison at Guantanamo would treat Taliban prisoners under the Geneva convention, because Afghanistan was a signatory to the convention. Bastard, isn't he?

My response is:

I am not saying we should be adhering to the Geneva Convention for ANY reason other than it is the morally right thing to do, REGARDLESS of what our enemies do or how they behave.

Otherwise, if we let THEM set the standards for OUR behavior, how are we different?

I also have never used the term "BusHitler", nor have I ever called the current President a bastard.

---

It appears that many are allowing their point of view, and their defense of it, to cloud their reason, their judgement, and their very perceptions of right, wrong, and what is honorable behavior.

I can find no other reason for this defense of behaviors that are indefensible, a defense that essentially says, "They piss on our flag, and they desecrate their own supposed holy book, so it's OK if we do it too."

When I was a child, my parents always said in response to my statements of "everyone is doing it" with a rebuke of "and if they jump of a bridge, will you do it too?"

The right-wing once fought against moral relativism, and still does when it is convenient for the advancement of their side and their agenda.

Apparently, though, when moral relativism is convenient for them, they defend it beyond all reason.

Although I describe myself as a left-leaning centrist who tries to be a moderate, I find myself in a position of explaining concepts of honor and absolute standards in response to those who could reasonably be described as at the least right-leaning.

I have in the past noted how the extreme rhetoric of our current age resembles that of immediately before the American Civil War, and what I see now only strengthens the similarities.

The "other" is demonized, even if they are fellow Americans.

The attitude of "us versus the-rest-of-the-world, with the rest of the world now including all dissenting Americans" now prevails.

I am not forecasting another Civil War such as that which we suffered upon the election of Abraham Lincoln, the infrastructure and fundamental issues are different.

However...

The intolerance, intransigence, and excessive rhetoric of the time and how what is present now so closely resembles it can teach us a lesson that I expect and fear will be ignored.

We allowed the intolerance to get so intense in 1861 that in a very literal sense, brother fought against brother in a conflict that is still the most murderous in our entire bloody history, where more Americans were killed than in any other conflict, with over half a million dead in both the North and the South.

Now, we fling similar overheated rhetoric at each other, after all that has happened in the last four years, after the deaths, after the revelations, after the fact, denying any inconvenient facts in our quest for winning.

Winning at any and all costs.

No thought as to what consequences might arise, and what costs might be too dear to pay.

I do not believe in "my side" winning at any cost, if that cost is to destroy the principles upon which my country was founded.

I believe in both honor and fundamental principles.

I have principles upon which I base my opposition to the prison at Guantanamo Bay, principles that are independent of how our enemies behave, because I do believe in absolute standards, even if I am willing to listen, discuss, and upon occasion alter my standards based upon what others believe in strongly.

Those who choose to defend immoral and dishonorable acts based upon how our enemies behave are only fooling themselves with the moral relativism they themselves claim to despise when they see it in others.

I often wonder where my country is going when I read the defense of the indefensible by those who claim to have a higher patriotism than anyone else.

I often wonder where my country is going when I read accusations of "excessive idealism" and "not recognizing reality" from those who claim to be "realists", despite their unrealistic view of the world as evidenced by the reality that has arisen in the last four years.

Am I infallible?

No, I am not, nor do I claim to be.

However, neither are those who present themselves as such, although there are many who if you read their writings appear to admit no possibility of any fallibility on their own part.

Is there a conclusion to this commentary?

No, there is not, although I wish I could find one, because it would be comforting.

Instead, we are left only with uncertainty and doubt, and I am left wondering what to think of those who I number as friends who seem to be intent upon defending what I find indefensible.

In the end, we are left only with uncertainty and doubt, the dual curses of thought...

Sorry, no comfort offered here, only questions.

Technorati Tags: commentary, fundamentals, opinion, personal, politics, quotes, some thoughts

A clarification for my readers

I recently posted on my own concept of honor, and how I feel the honor of my country has been soiled and continues to be soiled by the choice of our government to maintain the extra-legal prison an Guantanamo Bay.

In that post, I disagreed with an assertion made by another blogger, someone whom I respect immensely.

I want to make it very clear I was not saying that the Average Tobacco Chewing Joe of Cadillac Tight has no sense of honor.

ATCJoe and I have had a relative long (in blogworld time) history of tussles and disagreements that have never degenerated to name-calling or a loss of respect for each other.

I want to make clear, unequivocally, that ATCJoe is at least as honorable as I am, perhaps more so.

For my regular readers, those that I have, I fully expect you to read what ATCJoe has to say with an open mind, and if you disagree with him, you can post comments in his weblog, but be sure to have both logic and facts upon your side, because he is a smart cookie, and tolerates fools no better than I do.

I tolerate those who do not respect my friends even less than I do fools.

Technorati Tags: opinion, personal, weblogs

The Mac is back

After replacing the RAM and updating to the latest version of OS X, my Mac appears to be functional again. I now have twice the RAM I had before because I decided to go whole-hog and max out the memory if I had to swap it out anyway.

Now I'm reinstalling all my software, and unfortunately I've lost some of my registration codes. Oh, well...

Technorati Tags: weblogs

A deeply held belief in the concept of "honor"

UPDATE: For those coming here from Blackfive, I have a correction to his assertion, "Jack at Random Fate seems to believe that we're not better than those that oppose us and wants Gitmo shut down." After you read my original post below, please be sure to see my response to the incorrect statement that I place a moral equivalence between the US and the terrorists:

A correction to what Blackfive asserts I "seem to believe"

---

This has been a very difficult post to write.

It is not intended as a simple partisan screed but instead tries to describe something that strikes to the heart of my beliefs.

Those who will understand need no elaboration by the time they finish reading. Those who do not understand need far more explanation than I can give by mere text in less than a book-length dissertation on the concepts and emotions that are the foundation of what I am writing.

Let me start with the foundations before I get to the heart of the matter.

I have written recently on what it means to be a moderate, and how what I mean when I use the word "moderate" is not the same as "centrist".

In my definition of "moderate" I did not outline what they might believe other than this:

A moderate can be of any political stripe or agglomeration of beliefs. The defining characteristic of a moderate is a willingness to acknowledge that beliefs other than those held by the moderate cannot and should not be dismissed out of hand.

I did not choose to define a centrist because of lack of time. I did admit the need for additional discussion, however.

I am both a centrist and a moderate in many matters, using the definition of a centrist as someone who does not adhere to the extreme views of either the left or right wings in many issues.

However, there are some concepts upon which I could reasonably be described as extreme.

The one that lies behind the origin of this post is the concept of honor.

I was raised in the South of the United States, specifically the region around Memphis, Tennessee. I visited the battlefield of Shiloh as a Boy Scout before I was a teenager, exposed both to the rugged landscape upon which that terrible battle was fought and initiated into the tragedies that accompany any war that prompts brother to fight against brother.

Even now, the concept of honor still exists in the South of the United States, perhaps more than in the rest of our great nation, at least in my experience.

However, it is not taught formally, or even informally.

I can never recall my father ever saying the word "honor" to me.

I can never recall my father ever saying to me that I had to uphold some kind of ideal that he held.

Yet, I saw him uphold what he held as honorable.

I saw him do things that were directed towards larger ideals than his immediate gratification, or to the immediate benefit to his wife and children.

I have seen my father's pain, while not expressed in words but instead shown in other, more subtle ways, a pain of the soul caused by the betrayal of his younger brother to the honor of our family when that man disappeared, abandoning his wife and children for a secret life he had constructed.

From these lessons I have learned of a concept of honor that I cannot deny or reject, all the more so because it was taught by actions and not words.

So to me, what is honor?

It is difficult to describe in mere words, but I will try because it is truly important to get to the final point that I wish to show; the entire reason I am writing this.

Honor is the adherence to higher ideals than those of everyday life.

Honor is the adherence to higher ideals than is convenient for the moment.

Honor is the adherence to higher ideals than might be beneficial even in the long run.

Honor is the adherence to higher ideals...

If you haven't gotten the message yet, honor is the adherence to ideals beyond the self, beyond immediate gratification, beyond retribution upon those who offend us, beyond the exigencies of the moment.

So, to those of you who claim that moderates or centrists have no deeply held beliefs or ideals and only sway with the prevailing breeze, I completely and utterly refute you, because I do indeed have ideals that go beyond what is popular and what is current, and yet I am still a moderate and in many ways a centrist.

As a consequence, I am about to call out someone whom I list as a brother even though he and I have never met, because I feel he has gone against one of the ideals I thought we had in common, the ideal of honor.

Again this raises the question, what is honor?

What are these so-called "higher ideals"?

I can only describe what they are to me, but mere words cannot convey the concepts nor the deep feelings I have about them.

Honor.

There are certain lines that are not to be crossed.

There are certain actions that are unacceptable.

There are certain attitudes that cannot be held.

What are these lines, what are these actions, what are these attitudes?

Here is what they are to me:

You should always act in a way that is honorable, regardless of how others behave or act.

You should always try to respect other people, because they are human, just as you are.

You should always try to understand others, because they are human, and just as alone in the world as you are.

You should always try to avoid passing judgment independent of a jury-based court system, because you are as fallible as anyone else.

You should always remember that you are human, and you have no more and no less insight into the mind of God than anyone else.

As a consequence, a post by the Average Tobacco-Chewing Joe at Cadillac Tight disturbed me, because I had always thought that he and I shared a similar concept of honor.

The post: one called "Ditto" where in the comments I asked:

I want to be entirely clear on this:

Are you saying you don't care or not if we hold ourselves to higher standards than those (or lack thereof, rather) that we see in our enemies?

I want to be very clear if that is what you are saying, because upon first, second, and third reads it appears this is exactly what you are saying.

If so, expect a response with both barrels.

If not, I'll listen to what you ARE saying.

The reply to my query:

Go ahead and blow a gasket, Jack.

If you can look at that little girl's picture over at Dean's World, and still worry about our standards in relation to theirs, when the question involved is mishandling a fucking BOOK, and you still want to blow a gasket, be my guest.

Especially in light of this report:

All the headlines about "Abuse of the Koran at Gitmo" are absolutely accurate. Brig. Gen. Jay Hood's internal investigation has uncovered some shocking incidents. On at least six occasions, Korans were ripped up. They were urinated on three times, and attempts were made to flush them down the toilet at least three other times.

Why aren't millions of Muslims rioting in response to these defilements? Because the perpetrators were prisoners, not guards. As John Hinderaker notes on weeklystandard.com, the most serious desecrations of the Koran at the Guantanamo Bay detention facility were committed by the Muslim inmates themselves.

So they rip up, piss on, and attempt to flush their own book, then they want to piss and moan when a couple of incidents involving guards who are supervising TERRORISTS occur?

And in the meantime, they're blowing up children and flying planes into buildings.

No, I don't care about Koran "desecration". Not one damn bit.

From my reading (and Joe is free to correct me if my reading is wrong), because a few self-proclaimed Muslims have chosen to desecrate their own holy book, and because a few self-proclaimed Muslims have chosen to commit atrocities, we should feel free to act however we please towards that which is held sacred by millions of other Muslims who have not committed these acts?

This is coming from a man who appears to equate desecration of the American flag, which by NO MEANS WHATSOEVER is regarded as a religious symbol, to desecration of the Qur'an?

This is coming from a man who posted a link from Donald Sensing where it is explained how the Qur'an is the literal word of God to Muslims?

This is coming from a man who speaks out for the honor of our armed forces upon every occasion on which they are impinged?

I am sorry, Joe, but your statement of:

So they rip up, piss on, and attempt to flush their own book, then they want to piss and moan when a couple of incidents involving guards who are supervising TERRORISTS occur?

And in the meantime, they're blowing up children and flying planes into buildings.

No, I don't care about Koran "desecration". Not one damn bit.

speaks of a moral relativism that I see decried repeatedly by those on the right-wing, and is completely opposite of my concept of honor.

It does not matter how others react to these actions.

We must behave honorably regardless of how those in our custody behave, including respecting the religion held in deep faith by millions who do NOT behave as those in custody do.

Otherwise, why should they not hate us, for if we are to take the acts of individuals as condemning the entire society, then our actions at Abu Ghirab are more than enough to condemn the entire West according to the eyes of Muslims...

According to those millions of devout, non-offending Muslims the Qur'an itself and any printed versions of it are the literal Word of God...

...and you say it is OK to piss on it because a few bad actors in our custody do so.

Is that the zero-sum game you want to play?

Is a "tit for tat" mentality truly your idea of behaving honorably?

I cannot believe that it is, Joe, and I can only hope that you were speaking out of anger, for if that truly your method of thinking, then we are not the brothers I thought we were.

I may strive to be a moderate, and I may endeavor to be a centrist, but in matters of honor, I readily admit to being an extremist.

We MUST behave honorably regardless of how dishonorably our foes may act.

In this case, I am an extremist, and if we diverge on this, I truly regret it, for this is a matter upon which I will not budge.


UPDATE: Joe has responded on his own blog, and I recommend you read his response in full.

My reply in the comments to his response:

So you say it is OK to desecrate the Qur'an because a few people who call themselves Muslim desecrate it?

That is the gist of your post here and the one I linked to.

Therefore, it is OK to say that *all Christians* are evil based upon the acts of a few who call themselves "Christian".

Therefore, it is OK to say the *entire* US Army are torturers based upon the acts of a few who have been convicted in Courts Martial.

THIS is the stance you are defending.

No straw men here, none other than the ones YOU YOURSELF are presenting.

So, defend away the actions of the US Army and the Christians since you are so ready to condemn *ALL Muslims* and accept desecrations of what THEY hold holy based upon the acts of a few, but use the SAME standards as you do for the Muslims, otherwise, you can draw your own conclusions regarding YOUR honor and honesty...

Otherwise, your condemnations of desecrations of the American flag ring rather hollow...

I normally try my best to find a middle ground, but in this case, I cannot because it involves what I see to be the honor of my country.

The honor of my country does not allow for accounting of how badly our enemies behave, otherwise using any standard of equal behavior we would be beheading those in Guantanamo by now.

We must BE better than those who oppose us.

Struggling with burnout

I've been struggling with being burnt out for years now, even before I moved to France.

Dealing with the issues associated with living in a culture that is similar but also significantly different from the one I am familiar, along with the language difficulties, was a mixed blessing, temporarily staving off the worst effects of burning out, but still requiring energy every day to cope with.

Couple that with the deterioration I see in my country, which I love, and it is difficult for me to avoid the feeling of ennui that accompanies burn out.

Argh! I hate this, but we all have to recognize we are just as much emotional beings as we are logical, reasoning beings.

Sigh...

We are all human. Even if we want to overcome our human failings.