Personal:

Rage

Long ago, I was filled with rage.

I was angry, and I used that fury to give me energy, to power my soul.

Every injustice I saw, every wrong, every idiocy, they all fueled me and drove me on.

Then I discovered that the vigor I thought I was getting from the anger was illusory, and instead the fires of rage were consuming me from the inside.

When I unmasked that chimera, I resolved to not allow myself to be ruled by the heart, to not fall prey to the false promises of emotion or logic, but to strive for a balance between the two.

I have spent the last eight years struggling and seeking that equilibrium. At times I feel I have found it, but then something comes along to upset the balance and I suppress an extreme emotional reaction and struggle to prevent an overly-logic-oriented response.

As is acknowledged in philosophy originating in the orient, balance is key, but it is difficult to achieve.

Unfortunately, the philosophy from the occidental side of the world does not recognize balance, but instead strains for the ephemeral ecstacy of complete, total victory of one side over the other.

But...

We need to endure the cold black night to appreciate the warm rose in the dawn of a new day.

We need the grey dearth of winter to cherish the verdant green life restored in the spring.

We need the horrid example of evil to comprehend the sacrifice made to gain the good.

We need our pain and loss, because it defines us as who we are and helps us recognize the joy.

The elimination of one diminishes the other.

Total victory is not a gain; it is a loss.

Stop a moment, and think...

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What if both sides are needed?

What if emotion is needed to counterweigh the cold cruelty of logic?

What if logic is needed to counteract the hot reactions of emotion?

What if BOTH the philosophies of liberal AND conservative are needed to form a fair and strong nation?

Yet BOTH sides persist in their so-called strategies that are aimed at total annihilation of the other.

I see this, and my rage grows.

A rage I recognize as destructive, but cannot be suppressed or ignored any longer.

I cannot remain numb to this.

The old tinder that fed the fires inside alight again, and I cannot smother them.

The intemperate rage returns, with the same consequences and costs.

The best I can hope for is that the firebreaks I construct can keep me from being totally consumed.

They who are so ready to label those who don't agree with them 100% as "idiotarian" do not recognize that same flaw of self-destructive idiocy in themselves.

Those who don't get it don't get that they don't get it.

Boys, get out your Balzac, because this has been noted before: Be careful what you wish for, you just might get it.

And Orwell laughs, for he may have been wrong in the timing, but not in the result.