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Meme du jour

I was tagged by Boudicca, who says she is always curious about what is in my head.

Here is the description:

Immediately following there is a list of 24 different occupations. You must select at least 5 of them (feel free to select more). You may add more if you like to your list before you pass it on (after you select 5 of the items as it was passed to you). Each one begins with "If I could be..." Of the 5 you selected, you are to finish each phrase with what you would do as a member of that profession.

For example, if the selected occupation was "pirate" you might take the phrase "If I could be a pirate..." and add to it "I would sail the 7 Seas, dating lasses from around the world."

See how easy that is? Here's the list:

If I could be a scientist...
If I could be a farmer...
If I could be a musician...
If I could be a doctor...
If I could be a painter...
If I could be a gardener...
If I could be a missionary...
If I could be a chef...
If I could be an architect...
If I could be a linguist...
If I could be a psychologist...
If I could be a librarian...
If I could be an athlete...
If I could be a lawyer...
If I could be an innkeeper...
If I could be a professor...
If I could be a writer...
If I could be a llama-rider...
If I could be a bonnie pirate...
If I could be an astronaut...
If I were a dog...
If I were an inventor...
If I were a programmer...
If I were a genius...

Not so easy for me. I am a scientist and an inventor; it's what I'm paid for. I have been a writer (as in paid to write a book, it went out of print about 10 years ago, but it's still listed in the Library of Congress), and I still write papers that are published in technical journals. I'm now working on trying to write other stuff that I'll be paid for. I taught a class at a local university here in France, and the French use the word professeur for any kind of teacher. I probably shouldn't pick that one, either.

So...

I need five out of the list now that it has been shortened. No fair!

Well, to start, if I could be a linguist... I'd speak French a Hell of a lot better than I do now after living in France for a year. They have an expression here that French is "best learned on the pillow." Aside from any other considerations that prevent me from taking that route, relations between people are difficult enough even speaking the same language fluently!

If I were a programmer... I'd bathe a LOT more frequently than the intense programmers I've known, and I'd certainly make sure I developed social skills to go with the computer skills.

If I could be an architect... I'd take advantage of all the really interesting structures that modern construction techniques and materials allow, but I would make sure that I incorporated much of the beauty and aesthetics that were once routinely a part of any building. Too much pure functionality or cold reflection of modern life has been bad for our souls, along with making a lot of ugly buildings.

If I could be an astronaut... I'd stand up and make speeches about how we have lost our nerve, our willingness to take risks to explore. People die in breaking new ground, and we need to keep making that sacrifice else we will wither away while examining our navels. Then I'd make damn sure I was the first person to stand outside on Mars.

If I could be a musician... I'd try to write songs that express the beauty I see in people, and the sadness I feel when I see some people leave.

If I could be an innkeeper... I'd open up a bed and breakfast on the grounds of a winery where I'd make damn good wine. (This is the retirement plan, by the way...)

Some that weren't on the list:

If I could be a cartoonist... I'd try to draw and write a comic strip that captured the spirit of the early Bloom County mixed with Calvin and Hobbes. That would be good.

If I could be a sculptor... I would like to be able to sculpt what I see, especially in women. What I see isn't part of the physical world, but can be partially captured by a great artist. Ah, well, at least I am not too clumsy to type.

I may pass it on, but for now, I have too many things to do and not enough time.