Friends lost long ago

A long, long time ago, I had a friend who lived next door to me. When I say a long, long time ago, I mean around 30-plus years ago, the time of my life I remember only dimly. My friend’s name was Rusty, I think his last name was Stavely, but it has been so long my memory is very hazy. I think we had a couple of years to form our friendship before he and his family moved away into a bigger house.

After he moved, I went over to visit him in his new house one time for a sleepover. I recall his mother making us pancakes the next morning with smiley faces on the pancakes. I never went over again after that first sleepover. I have no idea even in retrospect as an adult what stopped the visits, other than possibly the bipolar disorder my mother was diagnosed with about a decade later, when I was in my twenties. She may not have been able to handle me sleeping away from home, or having someone else sleepover at our house.

I look at the experiences of my stepson and stepdaughter, and how they are maintaining many of their friendships despite our recent move to a new neighborhood.

I have always had problems maintaining friendships at a distance. I am glad that it seems that my stepchildren do not seem to have the same problem, but it makes me sad for what I have missed.

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3 Comments so far

I know what this is like. I’ve left behind so many good friends over the years. When you live in many places that seems to happen. Sometimes I google them just to sort of see what they are doing. But for some reason, even though I know how to contact them…I don’t. But sometimes they contact me.

I came here from V-Man’s. I like your comment policy.

I also experienced this as a child. But I have found I had a larger impact than I thought. People I haven’t seen in 30 years are coming out of the woodwork, remembering me as a snot-faced 6 year old and still calling themselves friends. And I didn’t even hit the PowerBall! And when I talk to them, I feel myself becoming that little girl that loved to play once again. Pretty cool.

I have always been a bridge burner myself. Few connections with those from highschool or college, new job – new friends. But their is esprit de corp in the military, a bonding that is like no other. I am still in contact with many of the friends I made while in the Army from 1968 to 1972.

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