Legislating Morality
by ChrissyThe abortion issue vis-a-vis Roe v. Wade has been something that I have struggled with for many years.
When I was in law school, some eighteen years ago, I believed the issue was not about trimesters or when life actually began. As far as I was concerned, life began at conception. The issue for me revolved around consent, as well as rights versus obligations, and privileges versus duties and responsibilities.
My thinking was very simple, if a woman willingly engaged in an activity that would or could result in the conception of a child, it was her responsibility to have the child, then either rear the baby or put him or her up for adoption.
I believed in personal autonomy. A woman had a right to choose and the choice was not whether or not a pregnancy should be terminated, but whether to have sex in the first place.
In those instances of incest and rape where the woman had not willingly consented, but was violated in the most heinous of ways, then she should have had the right to choose whether to terminate the pregnancy. I did not believe violence should beget violence, but I was not going to force a woman who had suffered at the hands of another to carry, and then bear the child of her attacker.
Further, I had no problem with abortion where the life of the mother was at risk.
I believed that with education of ourselves and our young people regarding sexual activity, as well as personal responsibility, the necessity for abortion would be the exception, rather than the rule.
After all, reasonable, thinking, and responsible individuals did not screw up and get pregnant, did they?
And, if they did, they did the “right� thing, got married, and prepared to bring a child into the world, didn’t they?
During the two-week period between the end of finals my last semester of law school and graduation, I prepared to move from Baton Rouge to start a job elsewhere in the state, take the bar exam, and get married.
When I was cleaning out my apartment, one of my friends from law school came by. She had a great new job lined up with an old and prestigious all-male law firm. She had a new boyfriend and, weeks before, had been very excited about the events in her life; however, on this day, she was upset and crying.
This friend was twenty-five years old and one of the smartest women I knew. She was unmarried and pregnant. She had broken up with the biological father a couple months before. This old boyfriend already had one child from a liaison with a girl in high school.
The friend explained she was scheduled to have an abortion on the following day, but needed someone to drive her to and from the procedure. She said she knew how I felt about abortion, but she did not know who else to ask. The current boyfriend did not know she was pregnant and she wanted to keep it that way.
I struggled with what to do, but eventually decided it was her choice and she certainly had a legal right to have an abortion. I told her I would take her.
The next day, I picked her up and drove her to the clinic. There were dozens of people picketing outside. She covered her head with a sweater. I did not feel as though I had anything to be ashamed of, so I merely walked through the protesters with her. Just before we entered the clinic, I made eye contact with a wizened old man holding a poster depicting pieces of a fetus. He screamed at me: “Abortion does not make you not a mother. It makes you the mother of a dead baby.�
For a long time after that, he visited me in my dreams.
The friend had her abortion and we parted ways. We kept in contact here and there, but the friendship was effectively over.
I have no doubt every time she saw me she thought of the abortion because every time I saw or spoke to her, I certainly did.
Her baby would have been born in September of that year.
He or she would have been fifteen this year.
In a perfect world there would be no rape and there would be no incest.
In a perfect world each of us would think about our actions and take responsibility for who and what we are.
In a perfect world there would be no need for abortions.
Dare I say it? Ours is not a perfect world.
These days I still believe in personal autonomy, the right to choose, and inherent in each right and privilege we have as American citizens are equally important duties and responsibilities; however, while still a conservative, I now firmly tow the pro-abortion line.
If we made abortion illegal, only those who could not afford to travel abroad or pay “private� physicians to secure the procedures would be forced to bear these unwanted children.
Yes, they could give them up to adoption; however, with our current welfare system and programs, these extraneous babies would be little more than meal tickets for their mothers.
Perhaps, years ago, I had even believed and adopted that arrogant elitist stance that some people needed to be saved from themselves, simply because they did not know any better or had not been taught any better. For that is where I believe the concept of legislating morality began.
For the record, I do not believe in legislating morality, despite an acknowledgement it is done repeatedly in this country.
Back in law school I actually thought making abortion illegal would deter women from carelessly getting pregnant because if they knew they would have to have the baby, they might actually consider their actions beforehand, rather than live for years after dealing with the guilt; however, I have learned there are people who are just not that way.
A sister of someone else I know has already had three abortions and she came from an influential upper-middle class family. For her, she simply could not be bothered with taking one little pill every day, if she got pregnant, abortion was the perfect form of birth control for her.
Thus, there are people who can have an abortion and not give it another thought.
It occurs to me that if that is, indeed, the case, do we really want those people forced to have their children? My answer is no, I don’t.
However, for my friend from law school, I have no doubt she has suffered the anguish of her actions and decision.
Notwithstanding, these days, I do not care whether anyone feels guilty about having an abortion or not. I really don’t. It is really none of my business.
We all have crosses to bear. We all have things to regret. It’s part of living, as well as being human. Not all mistakes are equal in their severity or consequences, but mistakes are mistakes. We should have the right to make them. I guess I am Libertarian in that sense.
I would much prefer to see the resources, passion, and energy we have poured into this fight over abortion (as well as other morality issues) channeled and focused into doing things that are positive and might actually make a difference.
There can be a cure for cancer and AIDS in our lifetime.
I would love to see Social Security (particularly the disability and welfare aspects of it) revamped and reformed.
The entire welfare system needs a good cleaning, as well.
The tax code could be made a great deal simpler which would pare down considerably the number of IRS employees out there.
Our education system is in crisis and our most valuable resource in this country is our children; however we treat them as either prizes or consumables.
And, that’s just a start here in this country.
There is so much we could be doing abroad, as well.
My point in all this: We each need to look in the mirror and rather than espousing our virtues and virtuous ways to ourselves and others, get off our collective arses, put our money, brainpower, and effort into looking around and seeing what each of us can do to make our small corners of the world better for all of us.
I guess that’s enough from me for now, I owe my Congressman a letter and I promised cookies for the local fire department’s bake sale…
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While I do not call myself pro-abortion, what I am is pro-responsibility. What you missed here is that while we must take responsibility for our actions and in that suffer the consequences, so too must our government. The government has inserted itself in this most private of issues. The government has said abortion is legal and, dare I say it?, easy! The government owes it to the citizens then to responsibly educate those who can be educated. There will always be the few who would prefer to pay money for an abortion rather than take a tiny pill or get a little shot, and there will always be those who do not hear the message. However, there are also those who are scared and confused. Those are the ones for whom education would benefit. So, I am not against a waiting period or counseling or the like, I don’t think those things, absent health concerns, are an undue burden. Abortion shouldn’t be an impulse decision. But, alas, it is.
I have a friend who terminated her pregnancy because of an aggressive cancer which would have killed her before her child would have been viable. She chose to treat her cancer and live. She can’t have kids now and lives with the consequences of her decision. While she is alive, she is dead inside.
Yet, i have another friend who had three abortions, it was a back-up birth control plan for her. She has three healthy children now and it hasn’t fazed her.
Me? I have no business making a decision for these women, nor does the government. So, I am not pro-abortion, but I am pro clean, safe and adequate facilities, doctors who can perform the procedure, and availability to those who make that choice on their own.
By oddybobo on 12.02.05 20:49
That was a very well thought out and reasonable post. And I agree with you entirely. Especially the bit about “do we really want those people forced to have their children?”
I shudder to think what the lives of some of these children might have been like because even despite the vast numbers of good parents looking to adopt, many of them would not have been put up for adoption…..
I smell a forthcoming post….. must think about it….
By caltechgirl on 12.02.05 20:52
As long as the decision is made by a legal adult and not financed by government dollars, I couldn’t care any less. Just Damn!
By Dax Montana on 12.02.05 21:02
Some of the predicates about abortion are wrong- starting with neither side’s willingness to use the term abortion. Pro-Life and Pro-Choice are vapid euphemisms
I’ve known dozens of women who had abortions, from prostitutes to degreed scientists. Not a one has been traumatized by an abortion, nor haunted. This is merely more agitprop ala The Silent Scream.
I’ve also seen and held a fetus- it’s the size of a thumbnail for 98% of abortions. To call that a person is, technically speaking, psychotic.
Another problem is the fact that pro-abortion folk, for the most part (with some exceptions, like me) do not stand up for themselves.
I once escorted a woman into an abortion clinic and had an ass like the one who haunted you confront us. He was a Bible-thumping troglodyte twisted with hate. When he got in our way a swift kick to the teeth sent him down a flight of stairs and the rest of his cohorts scurried for cover, like rats.
Rights are human conventions. If you do not believe so, wait till some alien race starts making burger food out of us. But, until then, if one does not vigorously stand up for their rights, up to and including physical protection of them, they have no right to complain when big bad wolves come to blow them away.
In fact, the only argument against abortion that gets any sympathy from me is the idea that the gov’t shd not use taxpayer $ for it. However, I’d sooner pay for an abortion than 18 years off the dole.
Until some of these realities are acknowledge in the discussions of abortion, or the death penalty, or other issues, no progress will be made. Euphemisms are the death of discourse.
By Dan Schneider on 12.02.05 21:30
Chrissie,
Essentially, I think we agree though our paths to that agreement differ.
“My point in all this: We each need to look in the mirror and rather than espousing our virtues and virtuous ways to ourselves and others, get off our collective arses, put our money, brainpower, and effort into looking around and seeing what each of us can do to make our small corners of the world better for all of us.”
Yes.
By probligo on 12.02.05 23:03
I know this is a touchy subject, but personally, I think it would be much worse for an unwanted child to grow up in such a household, than to have an abortion.
Also, mistakes do happen. I’ve had two abortions. I’m allergic to birth control pills, but used condoms and also the rhythm method to be extra sure. Well, sure enough, I am Miss Fertility, and I still got pregnant. But there was no way that I was ready to raise a child at either of those times (17years old and again at 19, both with the same man).
Fortunately, my Love had a vasectomy, so I no longer have to worry. (And both he and I recommend this to any couple who doesn’t want to have kids!)
I believe abortion NEEDS to stay legal because there are too many exceptions in life to make it illegal.
*Every child should be a wanted child.*
By Dogsdontpurr on 12.03.05 02:10
I can see both sides of this issue.
When I was younger I was pro-abortion, but it was mainly an unconsidered opinion that rested chiefly on the perceived benefits to me. Thankfully I never had to make that decision, or be involved with someone who had to make it.
Now that I’m older, hopefully wiser, and have had a child, I realize what a remarkable gift a child is. And, as an aside, I do not understand people who do not want children.
When all is said and done, what else is more important than a child? What else really matters? In a century the world will forget how great of an artist, poet, or builder you were… but you live on in your children and in their children. They’re a tremendous pain in the ass. You’ll spend hours and hours doing the most disgusting, menial tasks. When your infant daughter throws up all over your sweater at the bank, and you can still hold her and kiss her head while you clean it up, when you spend all night at the hospital with your infant son hooked up to an IV, cleaning diarrhea off of his behind every ten minutes… and that child looks at you and smiles in appreciation through their misery… only then will you truly understand love. Love means you do these things not for money, but simply because they must be done and someone is depending on you to do it, and it is a privilege.
It really all comes down to responsibility. Taking responsibility for our choices, instead of taking the easy way out. Having a child at a young age is very hard. Aborting a child because you do not want to face the hardship of having it should also be a very hard decision to make. That it is not to many is, to me, very troublesome.
I agree with you, Chrissy… if people aren’t ready to face the responsibility of childhood then maybe they should strongly consider whether they’re ready to face the responsibility of being sexually active. But everyone wants the easy way out, the convenient way, and to avoid what it is we’re doing we use words like fetus, abortion, and termination instead of child, infant, and killing.
I understand the arguments behind keeping abortions legal. “Women will get them anyway, and many will die from back-alley abortions.” I’m not in favor of women dying, but let’s not forget that every abortion requires a death. The child pays for the mistakes of the mother.
I would like to see Roe v. Wade overturned. I’d like to see late-term abortions made illegal, and especially the heinous procedure of late-term partial birth abortions where viable infants are legally murdered just because they’re delivered in the breech position and killed when only their heads remain in the birth canal. For Pete’s sake, you should have made up your mind in the first trimester! I’d like for teenagers to get at least one parent’s consent before they can have an abortion, and then be accompanied by that parent. I’d like to keep the government from spending a cent on abortions or abortion clinics. And I’d like legal abortions to be so rare that the majority of abortion clinics go out of business because people grew up enough to either ensure they don’t get pregnant by whatever means, or accept the consequences if they did.
I wouldn’t make abortions illegal, but I would make those changes. I know they will not be popular with many, just as I would have found them onerous in my ill-considered youth. The right thing is never easy, and seldom popular.
I can live with that.
By jgc on 12.03.05 04:04
Wow. Talk about jumping in with both feet! ;-) Nice job.
By Bou on 12.03.05 04:33
Powerful…funny how time makes us all think about this and that. Changing your mind is a good thing…as long as you believe.
By Yabu on 12.03.05 05:39
Rights Versus Responsibilities
I can see both sides of this issue.
When I was younger I was pro-abortion, but it was mainly an unconsidered opinion that rested chiefly on the perceived benefits to me. Thankfully I never had to make that decision, or be involved with someone wh…
By Thirty Second Thoughts on 12.03.05 13:02
JGC wrote:
“When all is said and done, what else is more important than a child? What else really matters? In a century the world will forget how great of an artist, poet, or builder you were… but you live on in your children and in their children.”
This is one of the fallacies that most people use whenn they argue with their hearts and not their heads. After two or three generations any individual’s contributions to their descendants are statistically only slightly more than a total stranger’s.
It’s only the desire for immortality of a sort that drives most of these anti-ab arguments.
In fact, artists, leaders, scientists, do achieve immortality via their works. Question- who was the richest man in Poland when Barbarossa was around? Who was the most skilled English merchant during Shakespeare’s day? Who was the top lawyer in Switzerland when Einstein was a patent clerk?
No one recalls because most people are merely placeholders for that rare person that will effect change positively. But, to argue against abortion because the fetus might cure cancer or be another Newton is specious, for the odds are far greater that they will be another fat plumber with b.o., and a revealed ass crack when he bends to fix your pipes.
The idea that only a parent-child love is a true or worthy love will surprise many lovers (gay or straight), many pet owners, and many people who are aesthetically inclined toward art, beauty, pursuit of the truth, etc. To claim otherwise is to reduce the human element in human beings to that of mere genetic automaton. That may suffice you, JGC, but not many people.
But let’s deal with some of what you are dancing around- sexual activity, or promiscuity. There’s nothing wrong with it, as long as you do it with some responsibility. But, no birth control is a 100% effective. Thus, abortion is, and should be, the final birth control option. People should have a right to control their genetic destiny. With women this ends with abortion, with men it ends at sex. Sorry guys, but that’s the way nature intended it.
Think forward 50 years. If the anti-abs get their way, will women who don’t want to be pregnant have their fetuses forcefully removed from them and the fetus carried to term in an artificial womb? That’s absurd. Yet, that’s the logical outflow of their arguments.
Another thing to be recalled is that the underbelly of the anti-ab movement has its roots in the white supremacist movement. Ever wonder why those roadside anti-ab signs never show black babies?
Yet, again, these things are never dealt with, and all you get are ill thought out whines and banal blandishments about how precious babies are- as if anyone disagrees, as if that’s the real issue. It’s not.
Nor is there such a thing as a partial birth abortion. It’s a D&X abortion, and recognized worldwide as a legitimate alternative. The very fact that JGC uses such a term suggests he/she has bought into the noxious agitprop so thoroughly that any attempt to use logic is fruitless. Thus why many pro-abs give up.
Democracy’s wonderful, eh?
By Dan Schneider on 12.03.05 13:56
“Nor is there such a thing as a partial birth abortion. It’s a D&X abortion, and recognized worldwide as a legitimate alternative. The very fact that JGC uses such a term suggests he/she has bought into the noxious agitprop so thoroughly that any attempt to use logic is fruitless. Thus why many pro-abs give up.”
I think the problem here is that you may honestly think you’re being logical… but you fall short.
I won’t waste more time and bandwidth repeating my response to your post; interested readers can go here and read for themselves.
I would also invite readers to click on Dan’s name at the bottom of the comment above and peruse his website… and then decide for themselves whether he is, as he asserts, a “muscular centrist” or whether other, more apt descriptions might be appropriate.
By jgc on 12.03.05 15:34
Nice trick, JGC. But the war has nothing to do with abortion, the crux of which you evaded. Whenever reason fails, hide.
By Dan Schneider on 12.03.05 22:10
Abortion, Like it or not, is a choice issue. One of the greatest gifts God gave us was choice. Adam and Eve had choice …They choose to eat the apple…their choice had consequences. The same holds true for all choices. Abortion too has it’s consequences. I am personally aginst abortion…That’s my choice. So Pro life is Pro Choice as well.
By Wizard on 12.04.05 03:22
Man created God in his image. Some choice.
By Dan Schneider on 12.05.05 13:51