…come the most unexpected inspirations.
From Tedrow Drive, the author (with the nom de plume of Vavoom) of which had his thirtieth birthday a scant five days before my 41st, today:
No, it didn’t happen that way. In fact, it was just the opposite. Take the antithesis of the above and that was my 30th birthday. I came home tired and monumentally unhappy. My parents called, I heard the story, but this time I had a different response. “Mom, who cares? Who cares about people? They’re nasty, selfish and worthless. Why should I help anyone? Look at all the terrible people I work with… should I really help them? Aren’t they just like everyone else in this world? I mean, what’s the point? I can be as good as I want and that’s not going to change anything…”
There was a long pause on my parents end. It was as if both were taking a deep breath. My Father responded, “What drives you, Vavoom?” “Huh?” “What drives you?” “Dad, what does that have to do with anything?” “What drives you? What keeps you around?” “Honestly, I don’t know… I honestly don’t know…” I broke down sobbing on that, my 30th birthday, “I just don’t think life is worth it anymore…”
My Mother said, “Breathe, Vavoom. Breathe.” My Father then said, “Find your center, son. Calm yourself.” He continued, “You are right, there are plenty of bad people and no, the world is not necessarily a good place. I wonder though, what would it be like if people like you give up? What drives you, Vavoom?”
I thought for a while. I still didn’t have an answer.
My Mother picked up the conversation, “When you were young, you used to put a cape on and jump off of our furniture and pretend you could save the world. Can’t you still live that way, just focusing on one person at a time?”
I smiled. Something about that rang true. Maybe the world is bad. Maybe some people truly suck. Still, what’s stopping me from doing my best and being good? Nothing.
The conversation ended with, “You know Dad, I do know what drives me.” “Good,” he responded. Funny, he didn’t ask what that something was. I guess that wasn’t the point of asking.
If you’ll excuse me, I’ve just put my cape on. It’s time to find some furniture to jump off of.
I repeatedly fail in my attempts to gain the optimism of the last line.
I never stop trying, though.
Perhaps that is the best any of us can do.
Happy 41st to me.